I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize