Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
