Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake