dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.