sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Cold hands, warm shart.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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