I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning