3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome