i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
