I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
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