Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
