so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
