hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
