Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
