I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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