well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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