Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We smell like vodka and hangover
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