Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I will die if light touches me.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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