dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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