I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
