I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
