I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
