Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize