I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
