they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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