i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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