YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Walk of Shame today included voting.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
