I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
