.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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