i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
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