Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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