Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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