somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
and she was petting her beer can
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
