In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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