Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
