Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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