Fine. I'll sleep in my office
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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