Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
