there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
