This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
