found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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