Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
