I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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