guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
