Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
