So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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