I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
