Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize