Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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