Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
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Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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