his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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