you would pick up someone in the library
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
