direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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