dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
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I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
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Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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