JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
