I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
