So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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