What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
