So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
