Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
