Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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