i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
