so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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