dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
