Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
