Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize