What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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